I don’t want to create.
Creating is for losers.
What a lovely way to start my note. Today is May 1, 2025. I am coming off of several vertigo episodes—all to say: I am here; and don’t want to be here feeling all and everything now. Most importantly, my body is where it needs to be. I’ll honor that.
The Reality of Creating
Creating is not for losers. It requires a balance of effort and no effort.
The moment I turned on this computer, I set the intention to create after asking myself if I could set one 15-minute and a 30-minute timer. It said yes.
The moment I heard the Mac chime, I thought, “Ugh, I don’t want to create. Creating is for losers.”
Feeling into my tired. My need for rest once again. Bright lights are just not a thing at the moment.
So 6 minutes in, I won’t force myself to finish this. If creating means to start this note and post this on my website, then so be it.
Why?
Creativity was never about perfection or completion. It means showing up the best you can and observing what you’re learning from this experience and about yourself.
This is design 101 and the work I do as a designer—you show up to do your best work for the project, receive feedback, improvise, and repeat the process. Only with creativity, you inject a little bit of emotion, which I’ve done here in this post.
It’s this intertwining and interconnectedness of learning and growing our ability to go do. As I’m writing this on my split keyboard (not an affiliate) while listening to the key sounds, I’m doing my best to stay attuned to my body. Hence, this is where the effort part comes in explained in neuroplastic work.
Neuroplasticity and Creative Blocks
In neuroplasticity, coined by Norman Doidge, the fifth stage is neurodifferentiation, meaning your brain has rested and there’s less chaotic noise inside—in other words, see where this creating is for losers came from?
I’m sharing this because most people start with doing the hard stuff first. Take me for an example: my nervous system is not at the true rest and digest, low-dorsal tone state. It’s on high alert. I won’t get into the previous four stages here, but since I haven’t worked through the stages to get to the fifth stage, I want to quit (and my system isn’t mad at me yet).
(again, not an affiliate but here’s an ebook by Irene Lyon I use from time to time about neuroplascity. *You have to sign up for the newsletter*)
So going back to creating is for losers.
Again, one, you’re not a loser for creating. I’m not a loser for writing this.
Second, it’s important to respect and honor your capacity and body rhythm. Yes, it’s now the 15-minute mark; I checked in with myself to see if I can continue and finish this note. I do have another 15 minutes to upload this.
Creativity as a Journey, Not a Destination
Creativity shows you your capacity, not the completed version of the project.
Much like this website—I want to design and deck this out for you to have a better experience, yet the whole point of this is to show myself and show you that I’m still working through my own challenges. It’s better I show the steps of creativity than to show you the final product.
It’s more worthwhile that way.
